Family illness

It has been a difficult week. Things have been difficult for Dave at work for starters, but also as his father is in complete liver failure, and likely dying, there is a lot of pressure coming from his family for things he can't help with right now. He is very stressed, and as a result, we all are. I can't help but be reminded of Dad's passing, and the months of stress preceding it. Despite the fact that I worked with many clients and their families in very similar circumstances, knowing when to go see Dad near the end was difficult. I went at precisely the right time, the last weeks I spent there with Dad were irreplaceable. My DH's family situation is different, as he is already in an incoherent state at times, not always lucid, whereas Dad was, just weak. It made me see, though, that until you live losing a parent or spouse, your understanding is that of an outsider. Severe illness and death in your immediate family changes things forever. This is not a clarity I wanted. One of my closest friends also lost her Mom, and her and I can discuss our losses in such a different way. I wish I could do something to change the events in motion for my DH, but I can't. I am trying to support him, but at the same time, I have to keep life as normal as I can for our kids. We are wore down-every time we turn around, we get another call that brings DH down-even when I am trying to help the kids relax-at the beach, camping, while we were in the US, while friends are visditing. As such, fun and relaxation have all had a damper put on them.