Hooray for Lauryn!

She advances to level one of pre-competitive, following the invitational tryouts! She has a lot of skill, actually more than her sister did at this age, and her sister is so good now. I am very excited, although they are mucho expensive and time consuming. We have 19 hours a week between them, and 24 hours of volunteer work, 2 bingos, and $460 or required fundraising. It is so worth it, but a bit difficult to get to with a 430 start and 830 or9 depending on which day, which makes for long hours, however the kids are wild about it and don't seem to get tired. Kids and their energy!

two days to post, kid stuff, household stuff

Aug 28-It was a cool and quiet day today, not much happening. Dave was home, so I ran outdoors instead of on the treadmill. It was kind of nice, little drops of rain as I went. Dave has been biking, going to and from work. It is a great workout. It seems easy to pack on weight at our age, it seems you have to work twice as hard to keep it off.

Aug 30-Well, that was my unfinished from 2 days ago. Today is vaguely hot, we are supposed to be in for a hot long weekend, which is nice. Josh had a seeming relapse from his illness, which from my understanding is very common, I think what he ate aggravated his tummy. So two nights ago I was up at 0345 with a pukey boy, and a nice diaper blowout. He fell back asleep by about 0630, and when he woke a couple of hours later and has been fine since.

Noni and JR were up early today, 0600 for JR, 0630 for Noni. I am surprised Noni got up so early, as she has been working hard at gymnastics all this week. She has really improved, she can just about get to the top of the rope now, and her bridge is really good. I noticed her form has improved in this short time.

I received the last place settings of my dishes from Las Vegas of all places, but now I have settings for 12 plus all the serving pieces- hooray.It took us so long to find some we both liked, to the extent where I brought home an entire set only to take it back cause Dave did not like it. So after that I would show him first, see if we both agreed on it, but it took us years, literally. I finally found these in 2004, I think it was. We got the glasses around the same time, although I had been eyeing them up for some time. I am so glad we got them, I still love them. We had the same issues with flatware, we couldn't agree on a style. We only just got those last year, FINALLY. I just buy all the linens as I see fit. Dave does not need an opinion on those lol.

I am baking with mimi and Josh,more of the soft ginger cookies as the last batch was gone in half a day.Noni and Dave are at gymnastics. I doubled the recipe this time, so we can hopefully have some for the weekend! Josh kept dipping his fingers in the bater saying "mmm tasty"! We have stuff planned for Sat and Sun, Dave and I *might* get a date on Fri if we can get someone talked into sitting. We will do something at any rate. Dave is off on a 5 day weekend, so we have time to chill. I need to pick up some vino for the weekend, and food stuffs tommorrow. If I have time we will get some fall mums for my planters, as the yard has half died now, and we still have to host a large brunch in Sept and it needs to look presentable. We will borrow a large table and chairs and I think I will buy a pair of tablecloths for the occasion, as I don't have two of the same of any, although the RL one I just bought is the perfect color for a fall gathering.

The whole house smells of ginger and spice, its my favorite cookie, and the scent is so relaxing. I have been burning spicy fall oils all through the house today, even though it was warm out, but it is relaxing when I am cleaning. The house is virtually ready. The kids are basically ready for school too, mimi needs for gym shorts, I liked the ones we got from the gap last year. I would like more like that, I will look this weekend.

Josh, it feels like autumn, soup

Josh is learning his animals from the books we have been reading. Horses are neigh, neigh, dogs are bowwows, cats are usually Boots or meow, tigers are "ROAR". It is so cute how he identifies the sounds first. Its like how when he sees cars he is saying "vroom, beep, beep!" . He is such a monkey. His favorite thing is calling his sisters for meals. As soon as I tell him his dinner is ready, he runs to the stairs and calls "mimi, lana!", as he calls them.

It feels like autumn. Technically there are 3 weeks of summer left, but the cool weather has already set in and the leaves are turning. It is still hot and summery back home, I miss Ontario. However, I am ready for fall, for school to start, get into my busy routine. We were so busy in July, August has felt dull, just the kids sports. I pulled out 8 ember(pumpkin)scented pillar candles and a few fall themed accessories today, the modern glazed pier 1 pumpkins and the rustic branches tucked into my wrought iron candelabra. I still love that thing and I've had it for so many years. I put a cinnamon spice reed diffuser in the living room-the whole main floor is scented from it. I have decided I like those things, even though I am still loyal to candles and my oil burners. I am deciding what to do with the front entrance, I think I have decided, something with some height in the iron urn. I want to keep it simple and rustic. It is easy to overdo it!

I felt well enough to run today, also went for a walk. Didn't bake as we still are working on the gingerbread. It is a pudding like cake, very English dessert. I am making split pea soup tommorrow, the weather warrants it for sure. It is a recipe the kids enjoy too, very high fibre! I put beach photos in the photo gallery type frame. It looks good. We are deciding where we will all go out for dinner on Friday, something fun.

Flu and other stuff

It has been an unplanned for weekend. Flu type stuff hit everyone but mimi, so we have all felt miserable off and on. We had to cancel our Sunday plans because of it, and we will now have the entire long weekend occupied now. Five more days of gymnastics camp, mimi is now done, noni just finishes this week. Come September we will be back at our 6 days a week of kids sports, only now it will be 7 days a week. Last year mimi fit in a science group, but if she does a swimming session she won't have time. At least swimming is short for the girls. JR is soon old enough for sports-next year when he is 3. That seems to be the age the kids all start their stuff at, although boys with thoughts of hockey should get on skates at age two they say. It is hard to believe, time has flown.

We are seriously looking at all our destination options and have new options due to an very unexpected windfall. I am so relieved and happy as it makes it all quite simple now. We just have the arduous task of actually looking for a home, school etc. Very time consuming, but we still have some time before I have to start major preparations-we just have to get to that point first.

We will be having a large gathering next week with extended family I ahven't seen in ages. We are bringing Mom and hopefully she will enjoy herself! She is due for a trip, this isn't one but it gets her out. We will fly her when we move to have a vacation, I wish we could have taken our parents on more trips, but we did have some nice ones.Time goes by so quickly it seems, I still can't get over it.

I haven't too much to write, I made a caramelized pear gingerbread tonight, it was picture perfect and tasted divine. Fresh ginger is what makes it. I am sitting on my front step typing this, the sky is doing wierd things and I hear odd noises. I am not sure if it is thunder or airplanes, but we seem to be in for a storm, the odd clouds are moving quickly this way. I would have liked to get out for a run, but I feel too weak still.

I am looking at what courses to register for next term. $1100 a course is highway robbery I think!

Cookies, clothes, clutter, collections of gifts!

I made the cranberry pistachio shortbread today, I don't know why I never made them before, Dave loves pistachios. They are fantastic. The flavour combination is perfect. These will definitely be added to my holiday baking list. They are too good for words.

I spoke to Dave this am, they were going to the hospital. Later on they are going to get a pair of jackets from the children's place, nice suedey ones for fall, and jeans that they have yet to get.

I was going through baskets in mimi's room, that kid keeps too much junk. I purged a bin of stuff. I really want organization before school starts!Noni's and Josh's rooms are fine, I just need to keep an eye on Josh's closet as I am storing Christmas gifts in there, I have a whole box full of body shop stuff I need to sort into gift baskets for people. So far I the women's gifts almost totally figured out, I need to start working on gifts for all the nieces and the guys. I haven't got our kids stuff yet, but I don't know what were getting them yet. With JR's bday so close to the holidays, it makes it hard too, but everyone is getting him pieces to his collector train set for his bday, so xmas may be clothes or something big he can ride!

Late night brain activity

It's 1130 and I just started the dishwasher and figured out why the air conditioning kept cutting out. I have been puttering tonight and can't settle down. I miss Dave, I hate it when he is not here. The girls and I sorted through our jewellry and we are trying to see if they have stuff for the wedding or if I need to buy them some. It has been awhile since I bought any(Christmas), so I may take them next weekend to look. This weekend we have plans-oh wait, next weekend we have plans too, so it may get put off or I will try and mash it in during the week. I think I had better make a cup of tea and lie in bed watching tv since my brain is too awake tonight. I may also phone Dave, see if he got the funky boots for the girls and found those toe socks mimi wants.

We are planning high tea tommorrow, ideally when popper goes down for his nap. We will pull out the china and if I am on the ball I will make tea sandwiches and maybe bake some cookies in the morning. Perhaps after my am run I will start baking. We haven't had tea time in months, not since spring. When it is super hot we don't feel like it so much, but things have cooled slightly.

I talked to Mom about the kids meals at the wedding, Amelia will have a kids meal just so all the kids are, the cornish game hen may be too large a meal for her anyways, and I am sure they will pig out on the hor'deurves and desserts too. I am psyched about the wedding, everything is coming together so well. They now have a minister, videographer, and photographer set. They just have to decide on the dj, but it is no worry. We pick up the flowers on the Friday before, the corsages on the thurs, they should all still be fresh if refrigerated properly. Mia still has to decide which friend is to do her hair, and we will get our nails done about two days before. There is very little left to do, the invites and calls are out, cake topper ordered, we just need to pick up a few things, as the room is almost totally pre-done for us. I think this is going to be a really nice wedding.

Gymnastics is like buying a car...and baking today, supper and a suit

Looking at the payment sheet, it occurred to me the price is similar to buying a car-you can pay it in one shot as we do, or you can pay a deposit of $426, then pay eight payments of $183! Now add on a second child for half that amount, $181 down, $80 a month, you have a car payment! I do not wonder about where our money goes. At least swimming and soccer are cheap! I can't wait till JR starts hockey ROFL!

I baked granola bars today, I used only dired cranberries since I was out of dried cherries and blueberries. I added ground flax instead of wheat germ-they are so good. We are having spaghetti and meatballs tonight, I added spinach, pesto, garlic, and ground flax to the meatballs. The sauce is a garlic, tomato, spinach and onion creation, whole wheat spaghetti. I am super hungry, can't wait to eat.

Dave just called, he is getting Josh a 3 piece suit for the wedding. He and Dave are gonna look great. I am anxious for the girls dresses to get here, i hope they fit!

Walk in a quiet neighbourhood, illness, busy eveings, fall preparations

We went for a long walk last night at Maria's, I really like their neighbourhood, nice big yards, lots of big trees, and there is a nice french school right there. So much green is nice, it kind of reminds me of the wooded walking path and parks near our old home, the kids used to love it. We were talking about how much we dislike the new cookie-cutter neighbourhoods with their micro yards and lack of trees and services. Our old neighbourhood was not like that when we first arrived(as there was no building behind us yet, but our trees were 10 years mature and the yards were large. We also had a rec centre one block away. But the new houses built behind us had lots half the size of ours, and of course the houses were virtually all the same. It's funny, so many people express their dislike for the new developments, yet move there anyways. If only the houses were better constructed it may not be so bad-and who knows what we may end up in. A friend who is living in a similar development feels the same, but I do like their current house better than their old one, just I like their old yard(as did they). After living in a relatively new house, I would rather have a 70's or older house-they are larger and better made for sure, but with anything you have to look at what maintenance is needed or has been done too. I would ultimately love a craftsman on a large lot, with lots of perennial gardens and big maples.*sigh* I miss my gorgeous rustic side garden and having tea there with the kids.

Things are so bad with Dave's Dad, I gave him my 2 cents worth on treatment and what else can I do? I am just sick with the thought of how much he is suffering. I think the argument is that he is not exactly having a lot of pain, but suffering has a much broader scope than simply pain. I don't even want to get into it right now. Dave and his Mom are heading to the hospital now for awhile, then out shopping for more kids clothes to have a break. Dave is looking for a bowtie, suspenders, pants, jeans for JR, jeans and shoes for the girls, and who know what else. Saves me doing it for now.

It has been long evenings all week, us out until 930 at night. We are all kind of tired, I will be glad when this week is done, although we have plans for the weekend, then next week is longer hours-4 hours at the gym instead of three. Oh yes, then we have the family gathering for Uncle Bill's retirement, then school. I don't know if we have time to hit the US again, I was hoping but I am not so sure now. We have a large gymnastics bill in September, so after shelling out a few thousand that month we may not feel like spending more!

I am slowly getting ready for September. I washed the main floor windows, the window guys came and did the outside of the upstairs, so I just need to clean inside up there. The kids rooms have been purged a bit, twice, school clothes sorted, shoes and backpacks(got their packs in the US-half of what they were here at the Gap-so much cheaper there) are ready. Jackets are around in one of the closets. I have added extra walking to my workouts, slowly building up to my fall 30 min run and 2 hours walking. I pulled out some of my fall bins to see what was there, what to put out first. Good thing I did, there is damage to my old fall wreath, I need to buy some preservative to try and restore it. Stupid wreath storage thingy is supposed to protect it. Glad I got a new one for the front. The old one still looks ok but the berries are tacky feeling, they need sprayed.

The kids are playing with a friend downstairs, I am deciding what tasks I should attempt to finish today, I think windows probably. JR is ready for a nap now, he is done scampering and dumping juice that his sister left out! arrggghNice mess to clean during lunch!

blog, dress stuff, children structure and attention

I am thinking I should spruce up my blog house, it is looking rather dull. Maybe some pics and such to make the place a little homier. Davey is out west now, I tried calling the cell twice, no answer. I assume he is still at the hospital, I can't help but worry about things.

I got a dress for the wedding. It is gorgeous, deep blue with a black overlay making it look almost navy. It is retro-styled, almost 50's, but not poofy. I can still wear the silver strappy shoes and I have some nice antique silver and jet jewelry that looks perfect. We are now focusing on Mom's outfit, since Mia and I have ours, we still have time. Photographer is now arranged, they are still deciding which friend of theirs will dj(as they have several who do it professionally). There is little left to do, I am sending the invites tommorrow, even though everyone has been called already. Theya re funky invites, the cake topper will match the invites, it is hilarious!

I read a good article.
http://lifewise.canoe.ca/BackToSchool/Features/2004/08/17/1149847.html
Most of the parents I know in noni's class are excellent, but there are some I have never seen, and I see very few from mimi's. As the kids get older the parents are there less for sure. It is certainly interesting reading about kids not recognizing innapropriate behaviour, I noted a few in both the kids classes.At any rate, structure and interest in your children are so important.

Update-I started this post yesterday but didn't finish. Dave said his Dad was really in a bad state. Everything is chaos and his Mom is not coping well at home with no help at all. Dave was out buying bread when I spoke to him, he was going to take a moment to go to the Children's Place outlet to get jeans that am.

Mimi had homework from gymnastics, she had to research a gymnast, Svetlana Khorkina, who was possibly the most successful gymnast to date, definitely of the 90's, was also tall for a gymnast(which is encouraging). The down side to her? She posed in Playboy in 97-not a stellar role model.

Dresses, kids, fall dinner and finds

I haven't blogged in a few days, so much has been going on I haven't had time to sit at the computer and muck around. I should be doing other stuff now too, but I will take a moment. We spent the entire day dress shopping yesterday, and ta-da we have a dress. Mia looked beautiful in it, it fit her almost perfectly, one tiny tuck at the neck strap and a hemming and it will be perfect. It is 40's movie star glamourous, chic as opposed to over the top like most wedding dresses, which I have since decided are kind of hideous. She will look like a million bucks, and it was a good price. I looked for my dress too, no dice but I have two more places to look, so here's hoping. I also got to poke around at the clinique counter for a few moments, which I love, and found a gorgeous new shadow set.

Joshers is such a turkey with the words he chooses. You never know what he will say, like when I ask if he is poopy, he says "bum ewww" like the monkey he is. He can also dribble a soccer ball. The girls could not kick and dribble at all at this age-he is not even two. Dave caught it on video yesterday, it was amazing. We will be teaching him how to skate this winter too, he is so good with his feet. Daddy wants him playing hockey next year.

Noni and Mimi have their own laptop now, so they hvae been busy on it doing word art and webkins and their associated games. I am surprised how well Noni can navigate since her reading is limited-she even does it on her own when her sister isn't there. They have good computer skills, it is quite amazing.

We are having a full out roast chicken dinner, rustic french style meal tonight before Dave goes. It is the first since spring hit, I always look forward to this time. On that same note, I picked up a gorgeous Ralph Lauren tablecloth that will go perfectly with my fall placemats, a fantastic wreath, now for the front door(front one going to the back even though I still love it), the fall stuff is so ready to come out.

We are hosting a fall brunch the day after Mia's wedding, will set up three large tables in the yard if all goes as planned. We will then host the thanksgiving/JR's very early bday two weeks later too.

Dinner and difficulty

What a great dinner we had last night. The Po tak soup was divine, the lettuce wraps delicious, the pad thai was good, but I swear I tasted more soy than fish sauce in it, and we had a good yellow curry. That and some wine later, we were stuffed. We wandered down onto corydon for some coffee, and then called it a night as it was time to get the kids. It was so nice, I could have sat into the night, but our time was limited. I enjoy corydon, it reminded me of home, mimi even mentioned it two nights ago as we were driving down it that it reminded her of downtown Kingston, and you know it does, but it is not as pretty here, similar energy in that area though.

It is D-day today. I don not like the recommendations as it puts a weight on Dave, but we take what they tell us to do. He is going to leave either tommorrow or Sun. I am not looking forward to things at all, I just hope that nobody is going to try and influence him one way or another-I don't think they fully realize his capacity for not bending when he wants. Dave has definitely become his own man, that is for sure.

9 years, hard time, home and wedding

I am so happy to have been married to my super husband for nine years today. We are going out for thai tonight, kids going to auntie's, so we wil have a few hours to try and unwind. I love to reflect back on the years of our marriage, and the three years we were together before we got married, and just think about how far we have come as a couple, then as a family. We have grwon, our tastes have changed, we have moved around. What has not changed is how I feel about him. Well, actually, that is not true. I am crazier about him now than when we met. The attraction has grown, deepened, and we have come to know and understand each other better. The good thing is we have changed together, and somehow we share the same main interests. There really is no one(other than our turnips) whom I would rather spend time with. I really would prefer to just do things with the two of us than others overall, or as a family.

That said, he is having such a hard time right now. It is affecting his work, and he is upset by this. He knows the material, yet he is saying he just can't concentrate. I think it is a bit of mild situationally induced depression, and it is the worst time to be on course. The military, and all that it encompasses has always meant a lot to him, and as such I support it with all its faults 100%. I used to criticize it more, but now I realize that I can't do that and still be supportive of my husband. I have to stand behind all of it, even when it let me down all those years ago when he was overseas. Things have changed apparently in the past 6 years(naturally after he was back), so I have to stay positive. I keep telling myself I have to stay positive, focused on our household for Dave and the kids. But it is hard, and getting harder. We will know after today what is happening better.

The girls are cleaning their rooms right now, lil man is napping just now. I need to finish tidying up in the kitchen, I would rather just rest and online shop. I will motor with the kitchen then lounge. That sounds fair. We went looking for a dress last night, will look more on the weekend. The girls have dresses coming, need to try them on for size, need to get turkey's lil suit too. I need to investigate the shoe situation for the girls and buy Josh a pair. I am wearing my Italian silver leather heels, they are perfect and my favorites. I need to also dig into my wedding stuff as the ring cushion will be lent for the occasion. Despite the cloud over us I am so excited about the wedding.

Another bday, summer into fall change, activities of the day and stuff

Well another birthday, doesn't feel any different, but honestly they never have in particular. I loved being 4, I thought 6 was the perfect age(and my favorite number), I looked forward to 13, so I would be a teenager(crazy kid!),I looked forward to 16 I remember, so I could drive(well legally, anyways!), 18 to drink (and again, legally!), and I remember wanting to be 20 so I would be out of my teens, but after that I didn't care much until I was about 25, then I wanted to be 30. My friends were mostly in their 30's, and it just seemed like you garnered more respect if you weren't 20 something. Over 30 seemed better, people are better looking in their 30's, have more money, not so foolish, so I only liked being in my 20's for maybe 3 years, then I was done, ready to move on. Now almost to the mid-point of my 30's I am quite satisfied at being where I am. I have accomplished some life goals regarding career, family, some travel, and my next goals really I am not expected to accomplish for about 7 more years, so into my 40's. At the moment the thought of being older doesn't bother me(but this may be that mellow state I was talking about, I am a little sedated lately about things and think "ehh, so what?" about a lot of things!), frankly I like the idea of being at that place in my life, I look forward to what my 40's will bring. I hope I also look forward to each decade and stage in the same way, but for different reasons. I guess as long as I still feel like the same kid I was, and the person I am in some way, I can grow older keeping in mind who I was and who I am, which may benefit my kids in that I remember (all TOO well I think) the trials and tribulations of being a kid, a teen, and a young adult. I am no longer hung up on what went wrong, what I didn't have, or what I thought I should, so I hope I have learned some things. Every year I feel like I discover more things I don't know, and attempt to glean knowledge from the more learned and experienced people in this world, many of whom I admire. Now don't get me wrong, even my role models have faults, naturally, but I am as ok with their faults as I am with their positive attributes, which i don't think I was 10 years ago.Maybe that is the difference I ahve learned. I don't know, I could spend another decade trying to extract how I have changed in the past 10 years and not come out any the wiser. This may be the whole point though, the journey, not the end point. Enough with the overthinking I think, just need to air my thoughts once a year lol.

This has been quite a summer, we have kept busy for half of it, and now that we are stuck in the city till school due to gymnastics, I have had more down time to relax, re-coup my brain and just be mellow. I spend almost all my time with the kids, trying to do lots of activities and getting rest in for school too. We have had some very difficult things to deal with as a family, due to illness, and lets face it, when a parent is in school it is stressful to the family. But I can say overall we have enjoyed the summer despite it, and despite the fact Winnipeg is not my choice place to live. As Maria's wedding looms I feel excited, it has been years since anyone really in our family has been married, almost all of my cousins have been married longer than me(all but 1 of them actually), and so a wedding is kind of nice. There will be 6 flower girls and 2 ring bearers if you count Josh-he and Kedan will walk together, but who knows what he'll do! It is exciting, I hope this will bring back the joy of fall for me. I have not been able to enjoy it as much since Dad died, and now that this is coming on 2 years, I hope things start to feel more normal and less forced. I love fall, although it is not very pretty here, but we look forward to it all the same. The kids have started planning our decor, costumes and parties already!(Mind you I have also started buying Christmas ornaments (I got 7 collectible ones and want 3 more for this year when they arrive in October).

We went to lunch today, the kids love their soups there, then trotted over to Laura Secord for ice cream and to pick up another ornament, mimi is collecting the flower fairy series, noni some of the barbie's and jr just some assorted boyish type ones. Me? snowmen and cast pewter of course, what else?

Complacency, zen and nonsensical rambling on the same chord

I am wondering about my mellowness these days. Perhaps it is getting slightly older, maybe it is my children, I don't know, but I have become more and more laid back, kind of go with the flow. I can't put my finger on it, but so many things that would bother me before just don't even cross my mind now, its wierd. I think what got me even thinking about it was running into someone whom I knew and they mentioned chronically returning stuff, and I thought "yah, me too", but really I don't do that anymore. I used to, never quite satisfied with this or that, obsessing about things, as an outlet for work stress, just enjoying having money to spend. I think so hard about my purchases, finding the perfect item, that I am satisfied when I get it, like reaching a goal, and then I think about it no more. I used to get so irritated when things I bought weren't perfect or things in the house weren't perfect-now it just doesn't matter. Then somewhere in around Dad's illness,I have learned I guess to accept and yes, enjoy imperfections for what they are-part of life, and to really fully enjoy all else around me. My home has been my sanctuary for a long time mind you, getting home on a stressful day was like a big exhale. I could completely forget all other stresses just playing with the kids, and mellowing out with Dave and our nightly rituals. I think also that having children and enjoying their numerous perfections and imperfections as part of their personalities has maybe helped me to realize so much of the materialistic crap I used to focus on is not important. I still enjoy shopping, it is relaxing. I love re-organizing the house-moving around furniture and getting new furniture just freshens things up, change in that sense is enjoyable. But I lost some of my retail zen in favor of a different kind of inner zen, a deeper satisfaction with who I am, and where my life is at. I can be satisfied with where things are at because life is so unpredictable at times. What I mean is, so many external factors in the life and death cycle are beyond my control, what I can control is how I feel about things and how they affect me. My family have brought me to my inner sanctum I guess. The restlessness, perfection-seeking self of my twenties is really gone. I am glad of that, since I am almost mid-way through my thirties!

Rites of passage, stages, kids stuff

The girls cut a few of their barbie's hair this evening. I was annoyed, despite the fact that they have over 50 of the silly things, and Amelia actually gave one of them a really fantastic cut(I was really surprised-it was really good). The point was that they did not ask, but I had a hard time arguing it-mealie argued that they are their dolls, can't they do with them as they please? She has a point, and well, I did the same when I was a kid, except I only had literally one barbie. So all kids cut their dolls hair. There are worse things in the world. It was disturbing to find a big pile of doll hair on the back step though...lol

Mimi is a big kid now. No longer a baby, she has turned into a real tween this summer. Different attitudes, different ideas, interests and vague pushes for more independence. I remember so well being her age. I am just so glad she tells me literally everything, as I hear the conversations of her friends I think wow, they are too young to be concerned about this or that, but really, this is when they think about such different things. Don't get me wrong, cuddling is still needed, but it is not the same as when they are 5 or 1. Different stages, such different needs. I try to have individual time catered to each child though, as much as they relate to each other as siblings, they need their own time to grow in themselves and our relationship together. I do love so much that I get to have three totally different stages in my house at once-I have never been happier or more excited for what lies ahead.

Nonsters is looking forward to school. Overall the schools here seem less intense, with no junior kindergarten I am annoyed, even the private schools for all of their $12,000 tuition price tag seemed a little lacking. I hope that her start in kindergarten is not too lagging, I worry the girls may not be at par when they start at their new school. At least noni can read before kindergarten, in english anyways, she is dying to start french, although she has been mixing some up with spanish. That should level out in school I hope, as it did for mimi.

Popper has certainly been busy. He has been monkeying around getting into things a bit, but still prefers to cling to me. He is better in stores now than he was, I can actually let him walk a bit on his own without him completely tearing apart the shelves(only a little bit). He is using his words a lot lately, trying hard to enunciate. It is so cute, but I am finding some relief from his angry demands when I did not know what he wanted. He calms down being able to say what he wants (and then get it of course). He still gets annoyed if I am not with him though, which is SO rare! I definitely only want part time work when I do go back, the kids need me here.

Headaches, old friends and running stuff, retail stuff, party stuff

I really think my headaches are due to environmental factors. As soon as we moved to Ontario, no headaches. When we came back to Manitoba, I get headaches seasonally. I will be interested to see how it is when we move, to prove or disprove my hypothesis. I have been bothered by them for a week now, and I feel very tired as a result.

Facebook has been cool, in that I have re-connected with some people that I have been so eager to find, some that I have merely been wondering about, some morbid curiosity, and honestly some I have forgotten about. I had an absolute blast with Susan, (who looks so gorgeous and happy) so much has happened since we last saw each other. I am so glad her life has come to such a good place, she deserved it more that most. Whenever she would come up in my mind or in conversation or whatever, I always said how unfair her parents seemed to be to her. I never knew how bad it really was for her though. If I did I don't know if I could have helped or not, but we should have been each others biggest allies back in the day. However, time passes, we grow up, and life brings us back to what we need, when we need it I guess, and when we are able to maybe better appreciate it(at least that is what I hope-it may sound a tad utopian, but, eh, I just had a run and am feeling mellow). I also re-connected with Chantal and Stephanie, two other people who deserve nothing but happiness. Steph lost her husband a few years ago, had a nightmarish childhood before she was adopted, and was such a nice person despite all of it. She has two children, seems in a good place and looks absolutely gorgeous. Chantal also looks fabulous, has such a cute son and all seemed well, but she has had some terrible stuff happen recently, my heart goes out to her. She does NOT deserve this at all, it is sad. Today I also met up with Jules, purely by chance, she looks great, and I am glad things are going well for her. I was uncertain if there would be any wierdness, we have not talked in so long, but it was a good chat, I look forward to coffee.

I bought some running gear in the US. I was in bad need of some that actually fit, turning in the size 10 garbs help up by safety pins for a size 4 that feels like a million bucks(but I got for a song!). I got 3/4 pants, black Nike, a red dri-fit top, also Nike, and a black and red IPOD carrier/arm band, also Nike. I did not mean to buy all Nike, it just worked out that way. They were all quite comfy while running, I had not wore them yet since it has been too hot and I have been running more in the house on the treadmill, but the weather has suddenly turned fall-like. As such, I have fall on the brain big time. I bought some very funky tea cloths, orange with a witch hat and ghost motif-funky not kitchy. Mealie bought a turkey. I am thinking about some root carved bowls, but I am leaning more towards some other stuff. I need to check out Pier 1, will have to go next week to scout around. I need a wreath for my back door for autumn. I actually forget what I have for autumn/halloween stuff, I will know when I start digging around in the bins downstairs. You know you buy too much when you can't remember what you have. I also buy stuff at end of season that I have never put out, so I guess those don't count. I also need to buy some ember scented candles from pier one for my fall decor(when I change all the candles to burnt orange color from a sagey green in the house).

I have to plan Josh's party shortly, after Dave's and Maria's wedding. I will likely do it mid October, along with a turkey dinner on the long weekend likely, inviting everyone as a big last get togetehr while we are here. I have mentioned it evereyone but my brother *I think*. There is people I probably think I mentioned it to but didn't.

Sick kids, friends who are ill, I am so lucky

Again sick kids, probably somre virus brought in by other kids, one of our friend's kids was sick this weekend, so I assumed he had caught it from when we visited them last weekend, however, now that two are sick here I am thinking he brought us the illness. Now I don't feel so bad! I think we are all over tired here, we have been travelling, visiting, out having endless fun and have wore ourselves out. Stress is also contagious, and as much as I try to keep things normal here, with their grandpa dying and their Dad on a very intense course, it leaks into the cracks of our lives.

I spoke with my friend with breast cancer today, she is doing ok, but it has been a hard summer for them. She just did her last chemo, then is having her various tests and radiation, then starting tamoxifen. I just pray all is well. They have been trying to keep things normal for their kids too, and now that we are mainly home for the month(except for weekend plans starting to pile up already), I can help them a bit again. Her daughter and Noni are friends, but with the illness in our house they could not play today(Rita is on her high risk 7-10 right now). I know they are looking forward to school starting, and frankly so am I.

I am so lucky to be able to home so much with my kids. Despite going back to work early with mimsters, I got to take 4 months off later, then a year off after noni, and now 2 with JR. I also have worked mainly part time, other than before and after noni(and I went down to a 0.8 two months after returning to work). I had such a flexible job I set my own schedules and work loads too, could be home in the middle of the day if I needed. I am fortunate we are not dependent on my income, and I have got to spend so much time with my kids, doing the things I really love. I hope I find as good a job again, but there is a growing chance we will move back to Ontario, so yahoo is all I can say. I can keep my same job with a slight commute and get a nice house near the lakeshore. BC will be exciting, I am sure, but Ontario is home.

JR is so funny. He was acting like he was pooping and standing right beside me, so I asked "are you poopy?" he just looked at me(usually he grabs his diaper and nods yes), so I said "well we better change your diaper". He took off running, so I thought he was just trying to get out of a diaper change, but when I got upstairs he was standing there holding a new diaper waiting for me. What a monkey!

Up and stuff

Josh has been saying "up" a lot. He is finding this very useful, as he likes me to carry him constantly. He says a variety of things, it can be funny at times, who would have thought he would say "magnet"? The little man memorizes his books, knows his body parts and follows directions well. He has just been getting his way more than he has had to use words I suppose, and is a boy and most are not as verbal early(the girls could converse at this age). Nothing is cuter than when he is hungry, you tell him "go get your lunch", he runs to the drawer takes a spoon out(shuts it even) and goes to his chair. It is hilarious. He has said "more" for awhile when he is still hungry, but his latest is bringing a container that he can't open of whatever he is wanting to eat and says "some"! His favorite thing is definitely his bedtime routine. You tell him bathtime, he scrambles into the bathroom trying to undress. After his bath, jammies on, I tell him "go get your books" and he scrambles into the chair in his room, book in hand and waits. After his stories(his favorite right now is "my First Book of Sounds"), I rock him and he is out till morning. He is usually down by 7 pm, he is my best of the three for bedtimes, with Lauryn in second. Amelia was born a night owl, but she is out early on gymnastics days! My little man is charming, he does this cute little face where he furrows his eyebrows and kind of rolls his eyes up, like pretending to look mad. When I laugh at this he giggles so much. It is so funny. Just a bit about my turnip!

Moroccan chicken, fun weekend, fall in Ontario

I made a Moroccan chicken tagine this evening, with fruited basmati rice and orange pepper salad. It was a fantastic recipe, via one of my favorite chef's, Michael Smith. It was so good, the flavours were very spicy and vibrant. I changed it very slightly, only by leaving out the almond butter and adding tomatoes. We will definitely make it again. Even the kids ate it!

It has been a cool quiet day, doing laundry(mountains after having a half dozen guests in our house), went to Chapter's to look for a book and Dave getting a new bike helmet. The kids are almost ready for school. They have most of their clothes, shoes and backpacks, just need one lunch bag and they all need hair cuts, even my curly boy will finally get one. I will take them in about a week probably. We had fun this weekend despite the frequent phone calls about Dave's Dad putting a cloud over things. We swam and sunned, the kids dug a large pit on the beach and attempted to fill it with water! It kept them busy! We all left the beach for ice cream and were just finishing when the rain started, so we timed it well. We all headed back home for supper, and we actually got the kids in bed so we could relax and have an adult evening too.It was fun, but the next day the kids were all super tired, which always means some sort of crankiness.However, we are always glad to see our friends.

I am contemplating canning things, I just worry they may not travel well for the move, I will see. I miss having more of a garden. I always remember the year our pumpkins grew around the fence and into the neighbours yard! It was so funny when their kids asked if they could have the pumpkins on their side of our fence! How could we say no?! We had so many pumpkins that year it was comical. The sunflowers too, grew higher than the 8 foot fence, by a good foot I might add. It was quite the spectacle. That was the same year I took the gorgeous pictures in mid November when the leaves finally fell from our maple trees. The girls dove and rolled in the leaves for hours till we finally bagged them. They were such big, gorgeous leaves. They were so large I mailed one to Dad, I knew he would get a kick out of it. Fall in Ontario in general was unlike any I have seen. The colours are so vivid, like you would see in magazines. I driving in the valley's in MB years ago thinking they were pretty, but they were absolutely dull in comparison, especially as I travelled along cty rd 2 north, or south along the lake. The orange, yellow, red, purple shades are so bright, and in such contrast to the red and brown rock faces. Every where there was corn, cider, apples, pumpkins and gourds for sale. I miss this season more than any other.

Family illness

It has been a difficult week. Things have been difficult for Dave at work for starters, but also as his father is in complete liver failure, and likely dying, there is a lot of pressure coming from his family for things he can't help with right now. He is very stressed, and as a result, we all are. I can't help but be reminded of Dad's passing, and the months of stress preceding it. Despite the fact that I worked with many clients and their families in very similar circumstances, knowing when to go see Dad near the end was difficult. I went at precisely the right time, the last weeks I spent there with Dad were irreplaceable. My DH's family situation is different, as he is already in an incoherent state at times, not always lucid, whereas Dad was, just weak. It made me see, though, that until you live losing a parent or spouse, your understanding is that of an outsider. Severe illness and death in your immediate family changes things forever. This is not a clarity I wanted. One of my closest friends also lost her Mom, and her and I can discuss our losses in such a different way. I wish I could do something to change the events in motion for my DH, but I can't. I am trying to support him, but at the same time, I have to keep life as normal as I can for our kids. We are wore down-every time we turn around, we get another call that brings DH down-even when I am trying to help the kids relax-at the beach, camping, while we were in the US, while friends are visditing. As such, fun and relaxation have all had a damper put on them.

sibling rivalry

I read a really good article in Canadian Living, August 2007 issue on sibling rivalry. Essentially it confirmed my own personal beliefs on the issue-that personality is determined less by birth order than it is by parenting styles and socialization aspects of the household. In other words, how you treat each of your children, socialize them, family activities and your socio-economic situation, etc all have more impact on personality than simply birth order. The article then went on to cite a number of recent studies that point out that parents often have a tendency to invest more time, resources and attention to the children that they feel have the most potential. It is kind of stunning in some aspects to think of it in those terms, but really, looking at some families I can think of, it is so true. The "brightest" or most "athletic" children get the time and attention. I think this certainly validates something my Mom did and what I do as a result-look at each child's talents and merits individually, treating kids equal, yet somehow validating them for who they are at the same time(it is more complex than it sounds, and it is somthing in constant motion). I am constantly amazed by each of my kids, for such different reasons-their intelligence and abilties are different(although I have to say the girls are both very bright as far as school work goes, very similar in that aspect). I definitely do not favor one kid at all, and I have constantly made an effort to spend daily individual time with each child, to me it is crucial in helping them develop confidence and a strong sense of self. Sometimes birth order can be used as a crutch, saying "this is why I am this way, because I was treated differently". I don't feel that excuse has any merit, as is proven by new research. Basically, people may have been treated differently, but it was based on what their parents thought they were capable of, not when they were born. It certainly is a lot of food for thought. I can see rivalry betweeen the kids, which is normal, but I work at trying to help the kids solve these issues in a constructive, non-hurtful way. As the kids get older, outside influences have more and more impact on how they relate, and let's face it, it is a very competitive world. Kids competing is inevitable, but how they handle the results is based on parents teaching and examples set.

on death and dying, bunnykins, produce

Death in the family always changes the dynamics in a very startling way. Losing my Dad was so traumatic. He really was what a Dad should be-there was never any question how unconditionally he loved his kids-he thought the world of us and we always knew how proud he was of us. Dave has become like him more and more with each passing year, becoming more patient with the kids and he always loves playing, reading, etc with them. Our family has changed forever with Dad gone, but life continues and we have found new ways to be a family, as we continue to grow. A good friend of mine lost her Mom a year before Dad, and she also continues to struggle with this change in many of the same ways, although with her it is even more poignant, as her Mom lived with her until she died. I think there is nothing worse than losing a child, but losing a parent or a spouse comes a close second. Now with the severe illness of my father in-law, our family sits on the brink of another change-however the family is split as to what should happen.

On a lighter note, I have had no time to blog or do much as popper is sick, but not too bad, and the stress of the family stuff is also weighing heavily. I have been eyeing up some bunnykins online, resisting buying, but looking. They are super complicated to collect, you practically need a phd to understand the backstamps meanings, as well as plate/cup/bowl designs in order to determine their age. There are tons of variations. I have a few sets and some egg cups that I am pleased with, but my prized set is the MIB set from the late 1950's. It even has a catalogue and colouring book. I got it for a song, it was such a deal. I also have one egg cup from early 50's that I am pleased with. I never would have thought I would collect these crazy things, but something piqued my interest to look at them, and there was no turning back.

Fresh produce is more bountiful in the markets, with is nice. I miss the deals we got in Ontario of field produce and road stands-and those were just picked fresh, BC should be as good. I think I will make a trifle or something with fresh blueberries for our friends this weekend.