Marriage, birth, death and life

Well it seems that my brother-in-law is engaged. They are getting married this summer, not sure when and I have not met her, but this is the plan. I hope it works out, there may be another baby on the way (well another for him, not her). My half-sister's daughter is having another baby, and her son is getting married too. There are a lot of people around us getting married or having babies. It is kinda neat, since a lot of our friends and family have kids that are pretty old now. Time goes so fast.

I hope that Dave's brother's marriage is a good one. There is kind of a disposable or replacement attitude regarding marriage these days, people all want to upgrade when things get old or there is difficulty. I am proud of the fact that Dave and I celebrate 10 years this year. 10 is short by many a standard, my parents were married 43 years before Dad died. But we have weathered a lot thus far. We have dealt with major, life-threatening illness three times,the birth of 3 children, we are approaching our 3rd cross-country move, and we had to deal with the death of my father. A lot in such a short time frame. There are a lot of ups and downs, so much happiness and fun, anger and sadness, and many changes. If anyone thinks they will get along their whole marriage, never seen their mates' flaws, they are delusional. You will have the same fight 92 times. Love is really about embracing someone's imperfections, not merely accepting them. This is the secret "terror and glory" of marriage. Any marriage of duration is shaken by birth, death, triumphs and setbacks. What is the secret to making it last? Well, I think it is just what I have said-or at least I hope. Those are the wise words of a person married 36 years, who I am loosely quoting. I just hope those who are newly approaching marriage understand these things too. We all board the marriage train with idealistic, unrealistic expectations. With time and tribulation, your marriage is tested repeatedly. Those who last are committed through anything. I have seen people whom I thought "why on earth would he/she put up with that?". Why indeed. It is easy to place judgment on someone else's marriage. It is difficult to judge your own and come out smelling like roses.

Our accomplishments together are far greater than what either of us could do alone. I think that is one of the things I am most proud of in our marriage. Material goods are irrelevant. They have no bearing on the strength of our marriage, or our family.All I know is, our friends have been our biggest supports. They ARE our family, hands down. Through cancer, many babies, moves, parents dying, massively ahrd courses, we are all together. I value them for who they are to me and my family.

It is funny talking to a friend tonight, who has more money than anyone I know. She is one of the most fun people I know, and totally looks at her her money as irrelevant, but it is her daughter who is a friend of Amelia, and they are our place to stay in Palm Springs! LOL she is great fun! But we have a great connection, and her daughter is so precious. I am so glad to not leave such good friends behind. Our best friends are never far, despite our moves, and that is so heat warming. Cheers to you all!

As for the future newlyweds, I wish you the happiness we have had, and the ability to cope with all that is life. Come have a margarita (made by Dave the master) in Tofino!