Nostalgia

I have had to say goodbye to so many parts of my life. We move, it is part of who we are. Don't get me wrong, it is what I have always wished for, as long as I can recall, I wanted to be by water, be it lake, ocean, whatever, to live some vague portion of the romantic novels I am inclined to. To be married to a man who takes my breath away, who fulfills me so passionately, thus can anger or fill me with absolute joy. I am married to that man, my best friend, my lover complete, the father of our children. At times, bits of our life seems like my novels. Somehow, i feel like I am adrift on the edge of reality-how does life remain romantic yet real-do the mundane details make it less romantic? No. I live for those details. I scour old movies, from every decade, books, stories from people of times past, just for those details. I love glimpsing daily life. I thrive by it. Perhaps that is what I love about being a Mom and wife, just that. I love the walks to the bakery and coffee shop, playing in the park when the sun seems like my childhood, so unbelievably bright, walking in a forest that is so larger than life, I am that kid again, yet somehow better, because I know better, and I am with the little people, my children, the future, that have more potential than I ever could imagine. Their imaginations are larger than life, and maybe it is that bit that I seek to glimpse in the past. that tiny bit of intuition into what can, what could be. My children see this, as mimi asks to buy fabric to design clothes, as noni seeks to create dishes, and joshie seeks to take apart his world and discover how to re-assemble it. They know far more than I could ever, their insite is enviable.

I was told how blessed I am, to have 3 children. I really, really am. I am so glad we opted for expanding our family, life becomes more enriched with each passing day.