Sunday, September 26, 2010

Life's a beach

The beach is divine this time of year. Today it remind me of Ontario. There was a haziness about the day, much like the smog we used to get, so it felt different. Quieter somehow. The water was cool, but so clear. We chose the largest tiki, set up our camp and spent the day like beach bums. I needed the down time.

Life has been odd lately. I took on full time work in July, picking up extra to make up for the fact I'll work as little as I can this fall. Dave was home most of the month, so we needed little in way of childcare. In the midst of this, Dave's Dad died. It was a long time coming, 11 years in all he was ill off and on. Dave has been back and forth a bit to see him, but frankly, the kids and I have had little connection to him. They rarely visited, never made much attempt to develop a connection with the kids. What can i say about it? It was nothing like when my Dad died. The funeral was a gong show we did not attend. $28,000. Really. I was appalled. Dad's cost a fraction of that, and we held it exactly how he wanted. There is no way Carlos would have wanted that kind of money spent-he spent his whole life obsessing about money. Yet, his other sons had no qualms spending it on the funeral. Ironic. We are pre-deployment preparing. I am not upset, at this point it seems unreal. Not happening to me, just around me. The kids are vaguely anxious. The feeling in the air is one of urgency. Get this or that done before he goes. I feel like I am on a deadline. I am efficient when on a deadline. Focused, distractions are brief but welcome.

So here I come back to this late Sept. We have had Elsa and Genesis visit, it was a gong show(note: word of the day). Elsa was very odd, behaviors amplified. She and Dave got into a fight about money, her completely denying everything she had said two days earlier. She threatened not to visit anymore. Dave was livid, how could she do that to the kids. I have never seen him so upset. Somehow after a day of pouting, she turned around. We chalked it up to the grieving process, but it was classic behavior, amplified. The thing is, I enjoy Elsa when Dave is not around, she is great. However when he is there she is almost child-like and it annoys me to no end. This written candor is not like me, but perhaps I need to be more like my Mom and speak my piece instead of being so easygoing. The thing is, like my Dad it takes a lot to get me going, but when I am mad, I have damn good reason. We have been through a lot in the past year, thus I feel I am entitled.

Genesis, 21 yrs old, is an absolute sweetheart. Genuine, warm, beautiful, naive but intelligent, and very kind. the kids adored her, and miss her so much. She is trained as some sort of pharmaceutical assistant in Chile, however they function more like a physician consultant regarding all prescriptions, it is rather interesting. Basically, they tell the doc what they should prescribe for said diagnosis.
We fast-forwarded time while they visited, and had my birthday dinner as a Halloween/thanksgiving all wrapped in one. I roasted a turkey when it was 30 degrees out, we sent a hallow's eve table and wore costumes. The kids made my cake. It was a bit flat, but it tasted good! We had a blast, best birthday I can recall since my 9th. I felt very loved.
Halloween brilliance in August! I am, in my glory.

We went to the spa for our anniversary. Twelve years married-I can't believe it. I swear we were at a country bar  just last year scouting the door through heavy crowds for guys that caught our attention. This man makes me crazy at times, and I am still crazy about him. I am blessed, our children are so glad to have him. Here we are, at the Kingfisher after dinner. Frankly, I make better dinners, but it was a nice night away. 


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