Sick kids, friends who are ill, I am so lucky

Again sick kids, probably somre virus brought in by other kids, one of our friend's kids was sick this weekend, so I assumed he had caught it from when we visited them last weekend, however, now that two are sick here I am thinking he brought us the illness. Now I don't feel so bad! I think we are all over tired here, we have been travelling, visiting, out having endless fun and have wore ourselves out. Stress is also contagious, and as much as I try to keep things normal here, with their grandpa dying and their Dad on a very intense course, it leaks into the cracks of our lives.

I spoke with my friend with breast cancer today, she is doing ok, but it has been a hard summer for them. She just did her last chemo, then is having her various tests and radiation, then starting tamoxifen. I just pray all is well. They have been trying to keep things normal for their kids too, and now that we are mainly home for the month(except for weekend plans starting to pile up already), I can help them a bit again. Her daughter and Noni are friends, but with the illness in our house they could not play today(Rita is on her high risk 7-10 right now). I know they are looking forward to school starting, and frankly so am I.

I am so lucky to be able to home so much with my kids. Despite going back to work early with mimsters, I got to take 4 months off later, then a year off after noni, and now 2 with JR. I also have worked mainly part time, other than before and after noni(and I went down to a 0.8 two months after returning to work). I had such a flexible job I set my own schedules and work loads too, could be home in the middle of the day if I needed. I am fortunate we are not dependent on my income, and I have got to spend so much time with my kids, doing the things I really love. I hope I find as good a job again, but there is a growing chance we will move back to Ontario, so yahoo is all I can say. I can keep my same job with a slight commute and get a nice house near the lakeshore. BC will be exciting, I am sure, but Ontario is home.

JR is so funny. He was acting like he was pooping and standing right beside me, so I asked "are you poopy?" he just looked at me(usually he grabs his diaper and nods yes), so I said "well we better change your diaper". He took off running, so I thought he was just trying to get out of a diaper change, but when I got upstairs he was standing there holding a new diaper waiting for me. What a monkey!

Up and stuff

Josh has been saying "up" a lot. He is finding this very useful, as he likes me to carry him constantly. He says a variety of things, it can be funny at times, who would have thought he would say "magnet"? The little man memorizes his books, knows his body parts and follows directions well. He has just been getting his way more than he has had to use words I suppose, and is a boy and most are not as verbal early(the girls could converse at this age). Nothing is cuter than when he is hungry, you tell him "go get your lunch", he runs to the drawer takes a spoon out(shuts it even) and goes to his chair. It is hilarious. He has said "more" for awhile when he is still hungry, but his latest is bringing a container that he can't open of whatever he is wanting to eat and says "some"! His favorite thing is definitely his bedtime routine. You tell him bathtime, he scrambles into the bathroom trying to undress. After his bath, jammies on, I tell him "go get your books" and he scrambles into the chair in his room, book in hand and waits. After his stories(his favorite right now is "my First Book of Sounds"), I rock him and he is out till morning. He is usually down by 7 pm, he is my best of the three for bedtimes, with Lauryn in second. Amelia was born a night owl, but she is out early on gymnastics days! My little man is charming, he does this cute little face where he furrows his eyebrows and kind of rolls his eyes up, like pretending to look mad. When I laugh at this he giggles so much. It is so funny. Just a bit about my turnip!

Moroccan chicken, fun weekend, fall in Ontario

I made a Moroccan chicken tagine this evening, with fruited basmati rice and orange pepper salad. It was a fantastic recipe, via one of my favorite chef's, Michael Smith. It was so good, the flavours were very spicy and vibrant. I changed it very slightly, only by leaving out the almond butter and adding tomatoes. We will definitely make it again. Even the kids ate it!

It has been a cool quiet day, doing laundry(mountains after having a half dozen guests in our house), went to Chapter's to look for a book and Dave getting a new bike helmet. The kids are almost ready for school. They have most of their clothes, shoes and backpacks, just need one lunch bag and they all need hair cuts, even my curly boy will finally get one. I will take them in about a week probably. We had fun this weekend despite the frequent phone calls about Dave's Dad putting a cloud over things. We swam and sunned, the kids dug a large pit on the beach and attempted to fill it with water! It kept them busy! We all left the beach for ice cream and were just finishing when the rain started, so we timed it well. We all headed back home for supper, and we actually got the kids in bed so we could relax and have an adult evening too.It was fun, but the next day the kids were all super tired, which always means some sort of crankiness.However, we are always glad to see our friends.

I am contemplating canning things, I just worry they may not travel well for the move, I will see. I miss having more of a garden. I always remember the year our pumpkins grew around the fence and into the neighbours yard! It was so funny when their kids asked if they could have the pumpkins on their side of our fence! How could we say no?! We had so many pumpkins that year it was comical. The sunflowers too, grew higher than the 8 foot fence, by a good foot I might add. It was quite the spectacle. That was the same year I took the gorgeous pictures in mid November when the leaves finally fell from our maple trees. The girls dove and rolled in the leaves for hours till we finally bagged them. They were such big, gorgeous leaves. They were so large I mailed one to Dad, I knew he would get a kick out of it. Fall in Ontario in general was unlike any I have seen. The colours are so vivid, like you would see in magazines. I driving in the valley's in MB years ago thinking they were pretty, but they were absolutely dull in comparison, especially as I travelled along cty rd 2 north, or south along the lake. The orange, yellow, red, purple shades are so bright, and in such contrast to the red and brown rock faces. Every where there was corn, cider, apples, pumpkins and gourds for sale. I miss this season more than any other.

Family illness

It has been a difficult week. Things have been difficult for Dave at work for starters, but also as his father is in complete liver failure, and likely dying, there is a lot of pressure coming from his family for things he can't help with right now. He is very stressed, and as a result, we all are. I can't help but be reminded of Dad's passing, and the months of stress preceding it. Despite the fact that I worked with many clients and their families in very similar circumstances, knowing when to go see Dad near the end was difficult. I went at precisely the right time, the last weeks I spent there with Dad were irreplaceable. My DH's family situation is different, as he is already in an incoherent state at times, not always lucid, whereas Dad was, just weak. It made me see, though, that until you live losing a parent or spouse, your understanding is that of an outsider. Severe illness and death in your immediate family changes things forever. This is not a clarity I wanted. One of my closest friends also lost her Mom, and her and I can discuss our losses in such a different way. I wish I could do something to change the events in motion for my DH, but I can't. I am trying to support him, but at the same time, I have to keep life as normal as I can for our kids. We are wore down-every time we turn around, we get another call that brings DH down-even when I am trying to help the kids relax-at the beach, camping, while we were in the US, while friends are visditing. As such, fun and relaxation have all had a damper put on them.

sibling rivalry

I read a really good article in Canadian Living, August 2007 issue on sibling rivalry. Essentially it confirmed my own personal beliefs on the issue-that personality is determined less by birth order than it is by parenting styles and socialization aspects of the household. In other words, how you treat each of your children, socialize them, family activities and your socio-economic situation, etc all have more impact on personality than simply birth order. The article then went on to cite a number of recent studies that point out that parents often have a tendency to invest more time, resources and attention to the children that they feel have the most potential. It is kind of stunning in some aspects to think of it in those terms, but really, looking at some families I can think of, it is so true. The "brightest" or most "athletic" children get the time and attention. I think this certainly validates something my Mom did and what I do as a result-look at each child's talents and merits individually, treating kids equal, yet somehow validating them for who they are at the same time(it is more complex than it sounds, and it is somthing in constant motion). I am constantly amazed by each of my kids, for such different reasons-their intelligence and abilties are different(although I have to say the girls are both very bright as far as school work goes, very similar in that aspect). I definitely do not favor one kid at all, and I have constantly made an effort to spend daily individual time with each child, to me it is crucial in helping them develop confidence and a strong sense of self. Sometimes birth order can be used as a crutch, saying "this is why I am this way, because I was treated differently". I don't feel that excuse has any merit, as is proven by new research. Basically, people may have been treated differently, but it was based on what their parents thought they were capable of, not when they were born. It certainly is a lot of food for thought. I can see rivalry betweeen the kids, which is normal, but I work at trying to help the kids solve these issues in a constructive, non-hurtful way. As the kids get older, outside influences have more and more impact on how they relate, and let's face it, it is a very competitive world. Kids competing is inevitable, but how they handle the results is based on parents teaching and examples set.

on death and dying, bunnykins, produce

Death in the family always changes the dynamics in a very startling way. Losing my Dad was so traumatic. He really was what a Dad should be-there was never any question how unconditionally he loved his kids-he thought the world of us and we always knew how proud he was of us. Dave has become like him more and more with each passing year, becoming more patient with the kids and he always loves playing, reading, etc with them. Our family has changed forever with Dad gone, but life continues and we have found new ways to be a family, as we continue to grow. A good friend of mine lost her Mom a year before Dad, and she also continues to struggle with this change in many of the same ways, although with her it is even more poignant, as her Mom lived with her until she died. I think there is nothing worse than losing a child, but losing a parent or a spouse comes a close second. Now with the severe illness of my father in-law, our family sits on the brink of another change-however the family is split as to what should happen.

On a lighter note, I have had no time to blog or do much as popper is sick, but not too bad, and the stress of the family stuff is also weighing heavily. I have been eyeing up some bunnykins online, resisting buying, but looking. They are super complicated to collect, you practically need a phd to understand the backstamps meanings, as well as plate/cup/bowl designs in order to determine their age. There are tons of variations. I have a few sets and some egg cups that I am pleased with, but my prized set is the MIB set from the late 1950's. It even has a catalogue and colouring book. I got it for a song, it was such a deal. I also have one egg cup from early 50's that I am pleased with. I never would have thought I would collect these crazy things, but something piqued my interest to look at them, and there was no turning back.

Fresh produce is more bountiful in the markets, with is nice. I miss the deals we got in Ontario of field produce and road stands-and those were just picked fresh, BC should be as good. I think I will make a trifle or something with fresh blueberries for our friends this weekend.

Pasta carbonara with courgettes, kids, junk

On the menu tonight, penne carbonara with courgettes. I made a small un-spicy bowl of it for josh, he ate some then just picked, the little monkey. After he is in bed Dave and I will have a late supper alfresco. This dish will be very good with the wine we picked up, fresh thyme from the garden too.

I think Josh is actually enjoying the freedom of his sisters being away. He is acting like he runs the house(which is not that far off his norm, but there are less people to take things away from him now I guess). I think he is loving the exclusive attention more! I miss the girls terribly, they have not been away long, but somehow whenever one of the kids is not here the house feels more empty.

On the up side-Dave and I are clearing up lots of clutter. I have things stashed in baskets, bins, and boxes everywhere it seems. Every closet had too many of these. I guess I am a big consumer. I love to shop, I think I bought completely new everything while we were in Ontario. However, I think I have kept too many of the old things that I am not using. I really feel the need to pare down our stuff before our move. I went systematically through each closet upstairs first, and managed to get bundles of clothes from both Dave and I, then the girls and Josh of stuff they have wore out or outgrown. I then went through the linen closet and my product bins, and threw out three whole containers worth. I went through some drawers in the kitchen tossing stuff, then the downstairs-I re-organized the kids craft shelvesand sorted the stuff into new bins. I got rid of all the old clothes of the kids I was storing down there, except the name brand stuff in good condition as I can sell that to a consignment store. I got rid of boxes from new home theatre equipment and from all my kitchenaid appliances, and threw out some clutter I have been keeping for over20 years. Moving across the country is a big deal, I don't have to pack or unpack, but I do have to find places for everything which takes time. It is more time consuming switching provinces to do things like licences, health cards, house insurance and car insurance, re-stocking the freezer and pantry. Speaking of which, I have already started on both, emptying them and using up things. The freezer is down to bare essentials, and in a few packages of pasta, so will the pantry. We are buying as we need things now mainly.

Back to the issue of junk. I was talking with Mia last night about it, some friends of hers had to deal with the clearing of her mother's home after her death. She was a hoarder-worse than they had ever imagined. Apparently this is an inheritable condition. I think it explains some of my collecting of clutter-it came from both sides of my family mind you. Grandma was quite a shopper. I think it also comes from having no money, then having money and affording what you want. I am quite tidy overall mind you. I just wish I could throw out things more easily. My neighbour was talking about her mother being the same way with stuff, and her and her siblngs try to clear up the house whenever they can. It may be a generational thing.

Lauryn is coming along with her reading quite well. She has done a lot so far, and will be proficient before kindergarten for sure. The workbooks Mom made were brilliant with the readers, both the girls learned to read instantly with them. Lauryn won't be learning english reading at school till grade 2, same as Amelia did. I feel like they need to know how before then-I read when I was 4, so I am doing the same with the kids. I can't get over how good the workbooks are. Mom was a teacher and it is certainly useful. Two essentials at the age of 4 are reading and swimming for sure. Glad the kids have aced both at that age.